


I'm Sorry, My Love

by mayaaminmin



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Rewrite, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Post-Doomsday War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Regret, Regretful Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide Attempt, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 15:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30057672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayaaminmin/pseuds/mayaaminmin
Summary: Dream can make out the shape of his husband curled into a tiny ball under the covers with his back towards him. He knows that he should leave now, that he isn't welcome in this space anymore, but instead, he perches on the edge of the bed and tentatively places a hand on Fundy's shoulder. He leans down and places a soft kiss on his hair.Dream rises to his feet and goes to leave when Fundy sucks in a sharp breath and lets out a soft hum of confusion.Fundy opens his eyes and turns towards him.This was a mistake. This was a mistake. This was a mistake.Dream's heart drops when he meets his tired, amber gaze.He should go,now, while Fundy is still bleary-eyed and drowsy and likely won't remember this in the morning, but he finds that he doesn't want to leave.He can't.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 107





	I'm Sorry, My Love

Dream lets himself into the cobblestone tower. It's dark. The torches he left there last week have completely burned through their fuel, and all that's left are cold wooden stumps and soot. Other than that, the place remains untouched, exactly the same as he left it.

Dream goes through the routine he's been following for months now. First, he sweeps away the dust and ash on the floor and throws away the burned-out torches, replacing them with fresh ones and lighting. them. The dim glow of the flames provides just enough light to make out the various disorganized chests around him. He soundlessly pads over to the chest closest to the staircase and fills it with fresh bread, baked potatoes, apples, and sweet berries. It's not the most filling food, but it's easy to eat and will keep for long. After that, Dream picks up the iron cauldron beside the chest and hauls it outside. He dumps out the old water and scrubs the cauldron clean with a piece of sponge before putting it back in its place by the food chest. Finally, he makes a few trips with a bucket to the nearby lake and fills the cauldron with fresh water, then carefully places the stone slab back to keep the dust out.

As he mentally ticks off this task, Dream glances towards the bed shoved in the small space underneath the stairs. The torchlight barely illuminates the hidden nook, but Dream can make out the shape of his husband curled into a tiny ball under the covers with his back towards him. He's fast asleep, Dream always makes sure of that.

He knows that he should leave now, that he isn't welcome in this space anymore, but instead, he perches on the edge of the bed and tentatively places a hand on Fundy's shoulder.

He knows he shouldn't do this, he's lost the right to this a long time ago, but he leans down and places a soft kiss on his hair anyway.

He thinks it's okay, Fundy's always been a heavy sleeper after all, so what's the harm in that? He'll never know.

He rises to his feet and goes to leave when Fundy sucks in a sharp breath and lets out a soft hum of confusion.

Fundy opens his eyes and turns towards him.

_This was a mistake. This was a mistake. This was a mistake._

Dream's heart drops when he meets his tired, amber gaze.

He should go, _now_ , while Fundy is still bleary-eyed and drowsy and likely won't remember this in the morning, but he finds that he doesn't want to leave.

He can't.

Dream crouches over the bed and gently cups Fundy's face in his hands. He relaxes against his touch and it seems like he might slip back into unconsciousness at any moment.

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to wake you." Dream rests his forehead against Fundy who hums softly in reply, seemingly unbothered by his interrupted slumber, but his eyes betray his exhaustion, and Dream can tell that he's still not fully processing everything. He doesn't expect him to. He doesn't remember the last time Fundy was truly aware and lucid. It's been far too long since then, that's for certain.

_It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault._

"Go back to sleep, love." Dream kisses his forehead once before releasing his face, "Goodnight and sweet dreams."

He turns away to leave, but Fundy quickly reaches for the sleeve of his hoodie and tugs on it. Dream's heart leaps into his throat, but he forces himself to remain calm and composed.

"Yes, love?"

Fundy whines softly and tugs on his sleeve again, ears pressed back against his head timidly. His eyes are large and watery, pleading at him desperately, and Dream can't bring himself to leave. Not again.

He can't.

"Alright," Dream whispers and watches as Fundy's eyes light up. His heart clenches in longing and he realizes how much he missed him.

He missed his husband.

Fundy lifts the covers and Dream lays down beside him and pulls the blanket over them both.

"Hello, love."

Fundy gives him a tired smile in response.

The two are lying face-to-face, staring into each other's eyes in the dark. Dream wraps his arms around his husband and pulls him close.

"Comfy?"

He hums in agreement.

"That's good."

He sighs contentedly and relaxes against Dream.

"I've missed you, Fundy," Dream whispers as he holds him tightly, "I've missed you so much."

After he destroyed L'Manberg, Dream remembers finding Fundy staring blankly at the wreckage. Their eyes met across the battlefield, but there was no sign of recognition in Fundy's gaze. He just stared through him without seeing him, and then walked away. It seemed as if he had no reaction or awareness of anything that occurred that day because he quietly went into his tower and locked himself away.

Dream didn't think much of it at the time, too busy riding the high of his victory over Tommy and Tubbo earlier that day.

Then he visited him for the first time about a week later and nearly broke down in a panic. When he found his husband unconscious on the floor of his old, cobblestone tower, he thought he was dead. Fundy was so thin, practically just skin and bones, and couldn't move or speak. Thankfully, Dream managed to make him drink some water and a special stew mixed with healing, strength, and regeneration potions, and he survived. After that, Dream stayed with him for a month, making sure he was eating and drinking, but it was clear that he was not welcome in his home; Fundy wouldn't willingly eat or speak when he was watching him and his mere presence clearly agitated him, so he left and decided to visit him each week instead. He found that Fundy still refuses to move or speak on his own, but he eats the food Dream brings, and that was enough for him.

He doesn't realize he's started crying until he feels a hand on his face. Fundy is watching him, brow creased with worry as he gently wipes away his tears. How ironic that Dream is the one being comforted after everything he's done to the man he swore to love and protect with his life.

It's his own fault he nearly lost Fundy, and he didn't even realize until it was almost too late.

"I'm sorry, my love," Dream says in a broken voice, "I'm so sorry."

"I missed you too, Dream."

A gasp catches in his throat and Dream stares at Fundy in awe as he gives him a sad smile, and then he leans in close and breathes against his lips, "I forgive you."

And he kisses him.

Those three, simple words playback in Dream's mind over and over until he finally processes them, and he kisses him back tenderly.

_I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this._

When they pull apart, Dream sobs into Fundy's hair and holds him close, and promises to do better.

Fundy simply sighs once and snuggles closer to Dream and falls asleep against his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> i had a bit of dialogue, a scene, and a vague feeling of sadness one night and then i made this. fundy was not fully processing anything on doomsday and broke down but only on the inside because he likes to hide his feelings and internalize everything. dream still cares about fundy and realizes he fucked up big time. but fundy is too good and forgiving ;-;
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed! kudos and comments are always appreciated <3 and you can find me on @mayaaminmin on tumblr!


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